Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
