Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
