I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
