Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize