how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
