Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
