She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I want her autograph on my taint
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
