i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
