we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
