you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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