No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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