well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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