I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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