One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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