She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
