Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
