he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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