Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
