I'm drive I can fine osifer
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
