O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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