so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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