Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize