i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
