you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize