have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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