that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
