I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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