Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
