a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
