butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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