I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
