I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
