can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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