No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
