found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
