hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
