why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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