pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize