where am i from again
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
