woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
