I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
