wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize