I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sext me about skeletons
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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