he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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