If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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