Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
