I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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