I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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