Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
