Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
