At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
