Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
