it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize