This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
