i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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