i can't believe i had my finger in that
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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