It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize