maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
