it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
