So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They took my balls.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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