I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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