i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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