So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
